How to Find a Guru or Yoga Teacher (Without Falling for Spiritual Narcissism)

Updated: Feb 27

How do you find a guru or yoga teacher?

Carefully and with discernment.

You think I’m joking?

I’ve heard yoga teachers tell their students:

💬 “You must do whatever I say—without question! Otherwise, you break the student-teacher vow.”

🚨 Red flag. 🚨

Unfortunately, this power dynamic—especially between male teachers and female students—happens too often to count.

The Problem With Power & Spiritual Hierarchies

While making this film (Yogis of Ukraine) and the book, I visited a well-known yoga teacher with a big following.

He was physically impressive—fit, muscular, and fully aware of it.

🔹 His students? A group of twenty or so much younger women.

🔹 Their expressions? Adoring. Longing. Hoping to be "his chosen one."

🔹 The unspoken message? The closer you are to the teacher, the more power you have.

This is not uncommon in yoga circles.

I knew another yoga Hatha teacher—one whose classes I regularly attended—who was sleeping with five or six of his female students.

Really.

Yet many of these women felt “chosen” by their teacher, believing they were on a special spiritual journey with him.

This isn’t just about male libido and unchecked power dynamics.

It’s also about centuries of patriarchal spiritual traditions that:

🔹 Claim women cannot be enlightened until they are reborn as men.

🔹 Use tantric texts to justify the sexualization of female disciples.

🔹 Reinforce submission to male teachers as a "path to awakening."

A simple Google search of "yoga sex scandals" or "Buddhist/Hindu teacher scandals" will tell you all you need to know.

When you have a spiritual awakening, something incredible happens:

✨ You feel open, free, and deeply connected to something greater.

✨ You start seeing yourself and the world in a new way.

✨ Your teacher feels like the one who “opened your eyes.”

🚨 Warning: This is where things can go wrong. 🚨

You mistake your awakening for love toward your teacher.

Your teacher feels like the source of your transformation—but in reality, it’s YOU.

💡 You are experiencing yourself. Your power. Your divinity.

🛑 So, how to find a Guru or Yoga Teacher without falling into spiritual manipulation?

Remember Guru means that which brings you from darkness to light. Here’s what to look for:

✔ A teacher who empowers you to find answers within yourself.

✔ Someone who respects boundaries and doesn’t demand blind obedience.

✔ A mentor who does not position themselves as the “only source” of wisdom.

✔ A guide who emphasizes personal responsibility over submission.

✔ A teacher who walks the talk—not just in words, but in actions.

Yes, a great teacher can help illuminate your path.

But your spiritual journey belongs to YOU.

Don’t hand over your power. Don’t mistake your own inner awakening for the charisma of another.

🚀 True teachers don’t demand worship—they remind you that the guru is already within you.